LASS

LASS ladies are the best ladies.

Bass Boat Pots

For everyone around me, this blog has been a long time coming. I can't even recall at this moment what awoke this obsession, that I had as a kid, but let me just state that I'm all into metallic flake at the moment, particularly of the bass boat variety! I was heavy into it as kid, from those kiddie rides at the county fairs, where there was a "car" on a spoke, of a Ferris wheel kinda thing? When it went in a circle, it was often accompanied by what some might call obnoxious, but I felt fabulous, "beeping" noise, that I do believe was supposed to be the vehicle's horn. These rides actually came in different varieties, be they helicopters, motorcycles, boats, space ships, or even little trucks; I LOVED them all. The only real question was, did I love the ride, or the just the paint job most of them had? I'm pretty sure it was the sparkle. My father didn't really help with this obsession, being that he understood it completely, offering to paint my first car... a 1996 dodge neon, with candy apple red flake.

D was utterly patient with me, as I first tried to describe the rides, then the paint as "depth sparkle," then looking at countless photos of random people's hot-rods, until I finally communicated exactly the kind of paint job I was looking for. Once we got over that hurdle, he helped me with the reason I went to his genius in the first place: how to achieve this on a terracotta pot. After much back and forth, educating myself, and expounding on his own paint knowledge, of such things as gelcoats, rattle cans, and air guns, we finally decided the best way to bass boat paint a pot (without hauling out my Dad's compressor) was epoxy resin. However, once I was at the store, holding a can of pour on resin, I spotted Decoart's Triple Thick Glaze. Since it was non toxic, and about half the price of the resin, I thought I would actually give that a go first.

I'm pretty happy with the glaze results. I made two different pots, and had a bit of trial and error. The first pot I made, had a base coat of burgundy, and a lighter red glitter coating. It had exactly the tone I wanted, only the glitter size was all wrong. Playing around, I mixed a goodly amount of orange fabric glitter into the glaze, and slapped that onto a plain pot. There it was, the missing key for bass boat sparkle: tiny fleck.

The next day I headed back to the store, purchased red fabric glitter (I suppose you could use any small fleck glitter, but I liked the loose fabric glitter, because I could use it for freezer stencils later), and mixed it in with the glaze. Following some popular directions for painting your car with metallic fleck, each pot got three glitter coats, and one clear coat, to achieve maximum depth. I let each coat dry at least 24hours before I put on the next one, and flip them over frequently, to minimize drips.

My Dad used to have a little thing he did, to show me how nice the shine on a car was. He would put his watch up next to the car, and if he could read "the time" in the reflection, he said it was testament to how well done the paint job was. Now, I'm not crowing about my "glaze job," but I think the above photo with the flower reflection, gives a really good idea of how clear and shiny the glaze sets up.

However, I realized just from trying to find example pictures, how hard it is to photograph metallic fleck, let alone the "depth" of it. In my photos, the reflections actually make it look a bit bumpy, which the glaze, shockingly, is not! There are a couple of air bubbles and drips on the rims, which can be completely avoided with a bit more patience, and rotation, however they, the red pot especially, came out exactly how I wanted! Now, I just have to figure out what else needs a bass boat paint job...

Smoking.... also, part two in a three part series.

As you saw last week, I've been playing with my smoker in order to master the art of the world's greatest smoked salmon™. I had a very good reason... I wanted to make "wedding salmon." Now, the actual brining and smoking of the salmon is a pretty passive thing. It doens't take take talent, it just takes time. There are a couple of variables you can do to change things up, and I will share what I did, but the real talent is knowing "when to say when." There are two of stages in the smoking process that you just have to "eyeball," like when the pellicle has formed, and when it's sat in the smoker long enough to be cooked. These stages, unless you have someone to show you, you're just going to learn to identify by google fu, trial, error, and common sense, because they're a bit hard to describe and even harder to photograph.

For those of you unfamiliar with the smoking process, I'm going to go through it now, so I can share my couple of tweaks. First thing you have to do is get a nice fillet of fish. Being in the Bay Area, this isn't hard for me, and I have my fishmonger clean it for me too. It's important that you remove the bones, especially the pin bones, and take care while you do it, to not ruin the appearance of your pretty fillet. If there are any bones that manage to make it home with you from the shop, I use a pair of needle nose pliers (cleaned thank you) to carefully pull them out. After that, you make up a brine and bring it to room temperature. Now, this is where the world's greatest smoked salmon™, becomes the world's greatest smoked salmon™. The brine ratio's are typical enough (1/2c salt, 1/2c sugar, qt water), however for the sugar I used brown sugar, and for the real kicker, I add a shot of apple brandy to the brine. I boil all this together, or at least warm it, stirring until all the solids are dissolved, and then I slightly cover it (so no errant nasties fall in) and let it cool. Once it's brought to room temperature, I place the fish in a large, heavy duty plastic bag, pour the brine in after it, seal almost fully, squeeze all the air out, fully seal the bag, place it in the fridge and let it get it's osmosis on for at least 8 hours, flipping the bag over occasionally. So yes, it's best to do this a bit before you head to bed for the night.

Once the fish has brined, you take it out of the bag and gently wash it under cool running water. Then, I take my fillet, place it on the rack I'm going to smoke it on (which is actually the top rack, but it's on the bottom rack for the picture) and let it develop it's pellicle. What's pellicle you ask? Well, google it, but the short answer is, it's important and it's hard to photograph, so I'm going to let you use your great web research skills to figure that part out. While the pellicle is forming, I get my smoker going. I like to use apple chips, about a handful at a time, and place them in the smoker pan, plug it in, and let it heat up. I have a theory that preheating the smoker will speed up the whole smoking process, but I do realize I let an awful lot of smoke and heat out, when I put the rack with the fish in it. Which, of course is the next step: once your pellicle is formed, you carefully take the rack out to your smoker, snuggle it in there, and DON'T PEAK AT IT for several hours.

The no peak rule was one of the hardest to learn. I am known for my want of immediate gratification, and I will admit that my first salmon took a lot longer to smoke than it should have, because I was opening the lid every hour and "checking on it." It's really rather important that you don't do that, and actually only open it so that you can add some more chips when necessary, or when you actually are getting close to it being done. Now, you want to smoke your fish until it reaches 180* (a thermometer is best, but once you've smoked a couple you get to know what a done fillet looks like), and most sources will tell you to only have the smoking chips in there for the first couple of hours. I don't disagree with the chip instructions, but I will say that if you really like the smoke flavor, you can play around with how long you keep your chips going. What's really great about smoking it yourself, is you can make it the way you like it.

A couple of important things during the smoking process; is to try to do it in a sheltered area, so wind isn't robbing you of your heat, and watch what you put your smoker on, especially if it gets really hot. Oh, and always open the lid away from you, or you'll get a nasty face of smoke.

Once the beauty is cooked, you can take it out, let is rest, and then go at it! Personally, I can just flake off a piece of fish and be happy enough, but for the wedding it was served with creme fraiche, creamed cheese, red onion, and capers for garnish. I had a small basket of different crackers, but personally I like a water cracker or a saltine, because I don't think either takes away from the fish too much. Though, it's pretty hard to take anything away from the world's greatest smoked salmon™.

Cheese! (smoked that is)

The real Old Faithful

Anyone who is really close to me, is familiar with the above image. They're also familiar with the severe weight comes with it. Spiderman's uncle might think that "with great power, comes great responsibility," but what are radioactive spider powers, compared to trying to recreate the lost recipe for the world's greatest smoked salmon™?

Top: Irish Cheddar & Pepper Jack. Middle: Sharp Cheddar. Bottom: Garlic Jack & Idonotrecall

Akin to Atlas, I've taken up this epic task, of trying to recall, just exactly how to make the world's greatest smoked salmon™, and when I need a little break I smoke whatever I can get my hands on. The other weekend, I asked Shawn if he could pick up some cheddar for me, when he went to to the store. Figuring I was going to smoke it, he came back with five bricks!

It's a smoke-HOUSE.... it's mighty, mighty...

My personal favorite woodchip for smoking is apple, but I had a ton of hickory on hand, so I used that instead. Smoking cheese is really great for those, like me, who love immediate gratification. We cut up the bricks into one inch cubes, while I pre-heated the smoker, and got the chips really going. I covered the racks with tin foil to make clean up easier, but the smoke would probably have penetrated better without it. However, after about 30mintues in the smoker, both the garlic and cheddar jack were so soft, I think it would have glooped through the rack!

Back to the immediate gratification: like I just mentioned, it only takes about 30mintues for the cheese to take on a good smoked favor. Cheeses without additions (like the garlic and the pepper) held their shape better, than those with (which turned into little blobbies). The shape is kinda moot though, if you're like us and use the cheese in the world's greatest macaroni and smoked cheese™!

Quick and Familiar One...

"And now for something, not completely different"

Upon the debut of a certain sweatshirt, a couple months back, my friend D declared that he wanted one of his own. Being that he was the one that got me into the show, I really couldn't refuse. However, I don't care to make things exactly the same twice, so I rearranged the placement of the wording, pulled out the good old BBC T.A.R.D.I.S. stencil, and then deployed a certain other trick, which I haven't shared yet. I am about to share now though:

One of the more laborious things for me, when doing stenciling, is cutting out words. Words have all those bridges and tunnels to create, meaning the take more time, and you have less room for error, since everyone knows what a letter looks like. For a while, I actually avoided doing any stencils that needed a phrase or a word, because I just disliked cutting out letters so much.

Luckily, I had an epiphany, while trying to figure out, "what in the world I was going to do with that Cricut." Shawn bought me a Cricut, a couple years back on Black Friday. Not being a scrapbooker, I really never put it to use. Being that he braved the crowds at the wee hours of the morning, and really got a spectacular deal on it, I couldn't have him return it (he also refused to return it), but I also was never motivated to take it out of the box. That was, until I realized the little Cricut could cut the letters out for me!

Now, I've tagged this blog with "craft tutorial," but it barely qualifies. Basically, if you're blessed enough to own a Cricut, you should totally use it to cut out quick stencils for you, using freezer paper. Just apply freezer paper to the sticky pad, like you would any other paper, and have the little guy do all the work. Yes, you have to make sure you keep track of the centers of the A's, O's, and what not, but it makes doing phrases, names, and other wording a breeze!

UPDATE: I got a good number of hits from people who seem to be looking for a TARDIS stencil. If you like the trusty one I have, please click here.

First in a three part series...

Adorable and yummy goodness.

A certain Lassie was having a wedding, and it only seemed fit to have hen party with her girls, before she became a Mrs. Lassie. Of course, our idea of party is listening to Coast to Coast AM, Golden Oldies in Spanish, and crafting up a million butterflies.

All of this was fueled by proseco and a couple dozen lemon, spritz, sandwich cookies, which were inspired by this posting at Cannelle et Vanille. Maybe I'm kicking it in the dark ages, but the basic idea of using two spritz cookies, to make a sandwich cookie, blew me away. Adding the lemon to the mix, just sealed the deal.

I didn't follow the recipe of inspiration, rather I used my own family's spritz recipe, added a bit of lemon zest and juice, and did the same with my favorite butter-cream frosting. If you're a veteran of the mass assembly line spritz making, as many of us become Christmas after Christmas, then you'll be able to knock these out in nothing flat. Just don't have your husband help you fill them, like I did. If you do, you'll end up several cookies short and might not have enough frosting!

Another Quick Gift Roundup

Well, not really a mandrake...

Sorry this is late, but it works thematically as these were a couple of belated birthday presents for one of my godsons. I found this wonderful label by Craftylilthing on one of my lost weekends wandering the interwebs. Frankly, I thought it was great and I knew the mom of my godson would just adore it too. Also, I figured, I could attach it to any plant, as both her boys are really into "watering" plants right now. Kids, go figure...

Two is a good age to start rebelling.

The plant was coupled by a simple Star Wars Rebel insignia, freezer stencil shirt. Which, like Harry Potter, is another fandom of the mom.

Sport this, and you too can be part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor!

I'm going to be sad when my godson grows a little older and figures out his birthday presents are really aimed at his mom. Sure, I can stencil a Thomas the Tank Engine, but it isn't nearly as fun!